This week's #WCW couple is one very special to me. I present my parents, Robert and Sherry Osborne, as this week's Wedding Crush Wednesday couple. My parents just recently celebrated 29 years of marriage and from them I have learned so many valuable lessons to carry into my marriage. Some good, some bad, but all in all, they have taught me a lot about marriage. I decided to feature them this week to share how it was to get married in the 80s. The two, very young and in love, didn't have the most money but knew they wanted to have a celebration with their family and friends. Please read along to see how they tied the knot in 1986.
How and where did you meet?
"We met because Rosanne, my cousin, was going with 'Pepe', his cousin. I don't remember everything because I was in sixth grade." -Mom
"Yeah that was pretty much it. I met her in sixth grade; she was sitting on the porch. She wasn't allowed off the porch. I was like Rosanne who is that and she was like oh that's my cousin and she was like she can't come off the porch." -Dad
"Rob, that is so a lie, first of all we didn't have a porch." -Mom
"Okay, that's right, you were sitting on the steps and you weren't allowed to come off the step." -Dad
[This is a constant joke between the two because my dad, Rob, swears that my mom wasn't allowed to do anything as a kid because my Grandmother was strict.]
How long were you dating before you got engaged?
"She came home in '84 and I proposed in '86" -Dad
How did you know she was the one?
"She had good principles and morals. She was disciplined and had structure. She couldn't come outside so I didn't have to worry about her. I knew where she was at. I didn't have to worry about her running the streets. Seriously, she had great qualities and I knew that she was a good woman." -Dad
Wedding Date: November 15, 1986
Inside Ceremony (RisingMount Zion Baptist Church; Montclair, New Jersey) Inside Reception (YMCA Recreation Center;Montclair, New Jersey)
Approximate Expense: $4-5K
Color Scheme: Mauve & Grey
Where did you get the inspiration from for your color scheme?
"Truthfully I don't really remember. I think I just thought they were pretty. I think the Mauve is what stood out to me and then trying to find something that went with it; I just thought the grey went well." -Mom
What was your best memory?
"I think for me, the best was probably standing at the altar. I also enjoyed spending time with the family, after, at the reception. I think the best though, was standing at the altar and absorbing the vows that Uncle Reggie was saying. At that time I was just so in love so that was a good feeling." -Mom
"The best for me was saying our wedding vows and seeing that little glow in her face. I told her that on our wedding day she was the most beautiful woman I had seen in my whole life. She had a glow on her and I honestly think she was pregnant with you at the time." -Dad
"Well we actually didn't know that at the time." -Mom
"Yeah, but you were glowing so I think Candace was actually at the wedding with us." -Dad
What was your worst memory?
"Our DJ didn't show up." -Mom
"Yeah I had to get my boom box"-Dad
"We still had fun, but it was just messed up because we didn't have music at first." -Mom
"Ummm, that night after the wedding we fell asleep in our clothes." -Dad
"So that was your worst memory?" -Mom
"Yeah, because you're supposed to get some on your wedding night and we were so tired that we just laid down and fell asleep. I didn't get my 'happy ending' on my wedding night." -Dad
"Oh yeah that and the fact that we had to stay and clean up after the reception at our own wedding." -Mom
Comparing weddings then and now, what do you think was better then and what do you think is better now?
"For the present day, there are so many aids now. You've got the Internet so you can find a lot of assistance with DIY projects and all that. For us, back then, the only thing that I really wanted for us was to get married in the church. I didn't want the big wedding and all that because we didn't really have the money. I can't really think of anything that was actually better than how it is now besides maybe the cost. Stuff was a lot cheaper, but it's all relevant because back then we weren't making as much money." -Mom
"That's a good question. I think back then it was better in a sense of closeness with the family. I think it was a little more grounded. As far as today, we weren't as up with technology and how everything is so readily available and accessible. Now everything is so instant and back then we had to be a little more creative because we didn't have the Internet to help with a lot of things. Also fashion, I think the fashion has been enhanced now. But honestly I don't see that much of a difference. -Dad
If you had the opportunity to do it all over again, would you get married again? If so, would you do it the same or would you change it?
"I did enjoy celebrating with my family and the day was memorable so I would have done it the same way." -Mom
"For the groom it's a big deal, but more of a bigger deal for the bride. You want it to be memorable for her because it's her day. I would probably have done a little more and enhanced a few things like the music, venue, and decorations." -Dad
Was your wedding day and experience everything you expected?
"Well if we were to compare to you and your relationships with your friends; I didn't really have anyone that really stood in for me. I did have a Maid of Honor, but she wasn't really trying to plan me a Bridal Shower or Bachelorette Party. They didn't really take on the initiative to make sure I wasn't stressed or anything additional. With all that being said, I would probably say it was a little less than I expected, but still a very memorable day, overall." -Mom
"It was what I expected. I expected to marry the woman I loved and have my family there and that's all I really wanted. That was fulfillment for me right there. I enjoyed seeing the joy in my grandmother's eyes and having the family there to support me." -Dad
What is the best advice you would give to someone else planning their wedding?
"I know every girl has that little 'princess desire' and it's very nice, but more times than not, young people that are getting married can't really afford it. Truthfully I don't think I would spend that much to get married. I wouldn't deter anyone from getting married and having a wedding, but truthfully when you think about it, the money that you spend you can put it towards purchasing a house and setting up your future." -Mom
"Just remember that you want your wedding day to be special, but it's only for one day so be mindful on how much you spend. You don't want to come into your marriage in debt. I would say plan appropriately and smart in the sense of finances." -Dad
Using the knowledge that you've gained within these 29 years of marriage what would you say are the key factors to keeping your marriage going?
"Just remember that feeling you felt when you first started courting your significant other and keep that in mind. Try to keep the relationship and marriage fresh. Love is the most important thing. Just remember that love that you felt at the beginning and continue to express it and keep refreshing and enhancing the love every day throughout the marriage. Also just continue to have an open mind. “-Dad
"I'll simply say Love. I won't really elaborate because there is so much that goes with that, but love is the key factor." -Mom
I hope you enjoyed this interview that I had with my parents. My mom and dad are 'a trip' and my dad is 'a mess' with his honest answers so I laugh and apologize for him. This interview was as real and raw as they come and I appreciate them sitting down and doing this interview with me. They've definitely taught me the good, bad, and ugly about marriage and have been a great help to my husband and I during both our wedding planning and marriage. I hope you continue to tune in every Wednesday for a new #WeddingCrushWednesday couple.
HAPPY PLANNING FOLKS!!!